My dear blog has been left out. I allowed my lack of sleep, the love I feel for my children and my incredibly long TO DO list keep me from doing what I promised myself I would do daily. My commitment to others is true and trustworthy, yet I continually let the promises I make to myself go. I wonder why we, as a society, put so much merit into fulfilling tasks as we do, each and every day? Is it all that important?
I know that my sleep is important. When I am rested, I feel well and able. Sleeping alone is something that has taken me longer to get used to than I expected. I miss having a body in my bed, offering me warmth and security through the night. I am getting used to being alone. I am just not sure I like it.
I am positive that the love I feel for my children is important. My daughters are on Spring Break and I have done everything in my power to direct my attention to them. I have worked hard to listen and respond when expected to do so. Just the other day, my youngest explained to me that, “Stress is taking the best of us”. Her words were profound in the moment. I took to heart what she said and in doing so, have had to keep my phone tucked away and my computer in its case. They need me being with them, not just being around them. It is hard to do but I decided to make the time and effort. I have planned and participated in fun activities all week and have loved every minute of it. I even got lucky and a superhero-friend of mine gave us tickets to Disneyland ~ The Happiest Place on Earth! Or so they say, I haven’t traveled to Italy just yet. All I know is that my time with my daughters has truly been magical.
My impending TO DO LIST is a whole other matter of importance. I so badly want to do well by it! I want to succeed and accomplish great things! I want to make a lot of money so that I may be able to give back! I want to travel and go on adventures! I want to follow my hopes and dreams! I want, I want, and what is it that I need? I need to care for myself, so I may care for others. I need to write. I need to exercise and eat well. I need to monitor my diabetes. I need to fight for justice. I need to educate. I need to laugh and love whenever possible. I need to do what makes me happy. I believe the money-making and great accomplishments will follow once my needs are met. And truly, our hopes and dreams are important. Without them, what’s the point?
*452 days and counting…Italy, here I come! xo