When I decided to become a mother, I truly had no idea of what I was getting myself into. My first daughter born was a gift from the heavens. I was young, unwed and completely unprepared to care of anyone other than myself but I went for it anyway.
I cannot put into words how difficult it was to bear my first born. As a type-one diabetic, I had to commit one hundred percent to doing exactly what I was supposed to do to care for myself. Without this earnest commitment, I would not be able to care for my unborn baby. I attended hospital visits weekly and followed my food and insulin regiment as prescribed. The daily process of dealing with my disease was harder than ever with my daughter growing fast inside of me. My hormones would change hourly affecting my blood sugars and I had a few terrible low-blood sugar episodes. I was toxic towards the end of my pregnancy and my angel was born two weeks early. She arrived absolutely perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes and the cutest ears you have ever seen.
My gift to my first born is a gift that keeps on giving. Since the day I found out I was blessed with her soul, I have been doing my best to do right by her. I want her to live and live well. I had no idea that pulling that off would be such a hard thing to do.
I believe my upcoming trip to Italy will ground me after 15 years of raising her and I am hoping that being in Italy will bring me closer to God and remind me of the beauty that motherhood is.